Marriage

In President Benson's talk "Beware of Pride," there were many stand out quotes that made me really think. I feel as if I could break down each and every paragraph, because the whole talk was so good! Some of these quotes include: I love this quote because it explains what pride means in more detail than many realize. I know that enmity- which means hostility and opposing someone or something- will interfere with our ability to humble ourselves and change. If we are oppositional towards others and God we will struggle to let down pride. The contrast between pride and humility is an important distinction to make because it puts into perspective that pride and humility do not coincide. We must be willing to humble ourselves in order to change and improve. I know that when people are stubborn it is difficult to be humble. I am someone who can be stubborn at times, therefore I struggle to humble myself to make changes. I know that during the times in my li...

Staying Emotionally Connected Staying emotionally connected is such an important aspect to a strong relationship. All relationships are different, and require a unique attention, but all relationships need emotional connection to flourish in all areas of the relationship.  What are Bids for Connection? A  bid for connection  is any attempt that one partner makes to the other in hopes to connect in a variety of ways: attention, affection, affirmation, etc. These bids could be verbal or nonverbal behaviors that one partner uses to gain attention from the other. The other partner can respond by acknowledging the bid aka turning towards it, or by ignoring it aka turning away.  Why is this important? Recognizing bids for connection is critical in connection with your spouse. Often times, bids go unnoticed and/or are misinterpreted. This can be problematic because a lack of connection interferes with a marriages overall happiness. If one spouse offers a bi...

Love Maps After learning about love maps I now know of the importance. Love maps help couples to know one another's worlds, to share fondness and admiration, to turn towards one another instead of away, to have a positive perspective, to help manage conflict by accepting your partner's influence, have dialogue about problems and to practice self-soothing, it aids in making life dreams come true and to create shared meaning. It was interesting learning about love maps because I had never heard of them before. I am going to create a love map with my husband. I think it could be a fun activity to do with my husband to help us connect on another level. It can be difficult to maintain love maps overtime because it is an ongoing map that evolves with the couple as new struggles or goals arise. Marriages are such complex relationships that have both external and internal factors influencing the marriage.  Loves maps help you to understand your spouse, and it offers another way t...

It is important in my life to ensure that my marriage is a covenant marriage and not a contractual marriage. I do this by keeping an Eternal Perspective in my marriage. I focus on our progression in this life to prepare for the next life. We can do this by consistently working on our goals, love, and connection. We can do things to strengthen our marriage by improving our spirituality. As it says on the LDS website: " Covenant marriage  requires a total leap of faith: they must keep their  covenants  without knowing what risks that may require of them. They must surrender unconditionally, obeying God and sacrificing for each other. Then they will discover what Alma called “incomprehensible joy.”" I like how it says that covenant marriages requires a total leap of faith, because marriages should be filled with faith, hope and a positive mindset.  In marriages that are contractual, often times it is looked at with less optimism. Marriages without faith are more likely...

Friendship is the foundation in which love is built! In Gottman's research he found that strong marriages have strong friendship as a defining characteristic of the relationship. When Gottman's whole book is about building friendship and dealing with conflict in healthy ways so that it does not negatively affect friendship. When Gottman mentions friendship, he is referring to people who enjoy spending time with one another. When a marriage is founded on principles that create a strong friendship, it is far more likely to be successful because the foundation is there.  I liked how the introduction in Goddard's book sets the stage for understanding the rest of the book. The central idea in the introduction was explained in the last few paragraphs, it reads: "The answers are in the Principles-- The Gospel of Jesus Christ-that great plan of happiness-provides the solutions for our humanness. Having suffered the bitter fruits of badness, it invites us to prize t...